As the evening cools and the breeze blows the heat from my skin it is quiet. I sit in the dark reflecting on why this day is so difficult. This school caper is nothing new, been there, done that packed more than my fair share of school lunches over the years so why is this one so tough? Originally I thought it was because they are my last. No ifs no buts this will be my last first day of school and that saddens me a little. Don't get me wrong I'm quite content to be done with the baby stage but this will be the last time my little one looks dwarfed by their uniform and backpack and head off into the world all shiny and new.
Then it hit me it isn't school that scares me, I'm dreading the other woman. You know the one, she is the most beautiful, smartest, always right woman about to take centre stage right where you've been standing. Yes I'm talking about their Kindergarten teacher. No longer are you the undisputed expert on everything because Miss *insert name here* says so.
I know it's nice to share but just for tonight I'm going to be a little selfish, just for tonight they are still all mine.
Tomorrow I'll blink back the tears, I'll smile and tell them how wonderful this new adventure is going to be and I'll wait all day with my heart in my throat until the bell rings and they come running through that classroom door excitement bubbling through every pore, I'll pull on my big girl knickers and embrace our next set of firsts.