Unless there is a medical reason people don't just "get" fat. You can't wake up one morning bounce out of bed and look in the mirror only to discover that somehow 40kgs found it's way onto your body while you slept. Admittedly for most it is a gradual thing but for those who are obese/morbidly obese and have been for a number of years the fat is a cushion, a protection against their mind. Above all it's an excuse. You miss out on that job, someone doesn't like you, bad things happen in your life - hell it's fat discrimination. Indignation ensues and it's quite easy to dodge the responsibility for your life. We don't eat to excess, sometimes to the point of being physically ill because we're hungry. We eat because while the food is going in the sound of you chewing stops the voice inside that says hey I'm hurting, I need some help - HEELLLP MEEEEEE. It's easier to eat right??
I haven't really begun to focus on my diet and exercise in earnest, because truly what is the point? As long as that little voice inside my soul is screaming then I will never exorcise the demons and change my life. Every action and inaction will be reactive instead of proactive and the cycle of abuse continues.
My next few blog posts will involve opening an emotional vein so if raw emotion offends now might be the time to move along because I can guarantee this ain't going to be pretty but neither is real life, but if voyeurism is your thing pull up a comfy chair. My only request is can you make the popcorn air popped please.
2 comments:
I look forward to your next few posts - though "look forward" might imply that I'll enjoy your rawness and I won't because I know how hard that is. But I will applaud it.
Fat protects me from the world - period. I am less accountable in general because I am more invisible.
I often think to myself that I am just hiding behind my fat. I have no idea what I think will happen if I let it go. You are right to start to deal with the emotional/ mind stuff!
Good luck Michele
Mich x
Post a Comment