I'm at the beginning of a long and winding road yet the things that are happening fill me with hope. It's almost as if my nerve endings are singing.
Perhaps blogging has brought it into plain sight but I find myself questioning food choices, exercise - incidental and otherwise, self care and clothing choices.
In some unusual way since I've begun to regain control and I've begun to care about me again. Now don't read this as I'm under control and it's all butterflies and kittens but for the first time in years I actually feel like I can make choices I can live with. The compulsion is still there and the sense of self loathing still lurks in the backround but I can look in the mirror honestly and look forward rather than looking for something to smash the mirror.
I'm thinking I should just change my name to Scarlett because "After all tomorrow is another day"