I'm a firm believer in personal responsibility. We all make choices and whatever the consequences they are our choices to make. Free will is wondrous thing to behold. It gives us courage, conviction, direction yet when it exists within a being with a damaged spirit it becomes a receptacle of doubt and torment and the lines between responsibility and blame begin to blur.
There are times in our life where the choices we make take us in a direction we could never predict, we come across people who will wound if for no other reason than their own amusement. Yet when we are hurt, when our spirit is wounded we instinctively begin to attribute blame to ourselves. We second guess our choices, we doubt our worth and we lose our confidence in our judgement.
Whatever justifications are made, whatever excuses are proffered, whatever "provocation" is tabled, if you are victim of abuse or violence then you are blameless. By all means take responsibility for the choices that led you to that point but there is no blame to be apportioned in your direction. Don't be fooled into accepting the blame, lay it squarely at the feet of those who deserve it.
Today is White Ribbon Day a day for the silence to end. A day to separate responsibility and blame. A day to acknowledge the damage done and allow yourself the grace to heal.
To those who have survived, share your story, use your experiences to remove the shame and blame.
To those who are suffering in silence, you are not to blame, you are not alone, help is available if you find the courage to speak out.
To those of you who commits these acts of violence and abuse. IT IS NOT OK, IT IS YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. YOU CAN CHANGE - if you choose to.
To those of you who have never experienced or witnessed violence or abuse, you are blessed.