Balancing Multiples

So my little cherubs started their school lives yesterday and it was a resounding success.  They both embraced it wholeheartedly and I managed not to be a quivering sobbing mess as they casually waved goodbye with neary a backward glance.

Today they received their classroom allocations and we have two different classes.  Ah dilemna!

When they were born I encouraged everyone to acknowlege their twindom but to treat them as individuals.  No matching names, clothes or toys.  We do separate birthday cakes and will probably start doing separate birthday parties.  They are two little people who happened to share a womb, really fetal housemates if you will.

Originally we had discussed keeping them together for Kindergarten and then separate as needed.  Reality and school had different ideas and I can't praise Himself highly enough for the way he handled the situation today.  When it became apparent what was happening he checked with both midgets how they felt about it and then told the AP that we would prefer a watch and see approach.  Both our little ones have strengths and weaknesses and I am so pleased that the school whilst acknowleging their relationship is looking out for their individual needs.

Each night at dinner we are doing one great thing they learnt today, one good thing about their day and one sad thing about their day.   These three questions are great conversation starters and allow the children to share their thoughts without pressure.  Miss COTU did say that her sad thing was that her brother wasn't with her when she learnt her great thing but both have accepted that at school they need to learn different things at different times and after all they do live together.

So all good in the world of Kindergarten again.  I am so incredibly proud of how seamlessly their reality has shifted and they've embraced it for what it is and all it can be.

The Other Woman

As the evening cools and the breeze blows the heat from my skin it is quiet.  I sit in the dark reflecting on why this day is so difficult.  This school caper is nothing new, been there, done that packed more than my fair share of school lunches over the years so why is this one so tough?  Originally I thought it was because they are my last.  No ifs no buts this will be my last first day of school and that saddens me a little.  Don't get me wrong I'm quite content to be done with the baby stage but this will be the last time my little one looks dwarfed by their uniform and backpack and head off into the world all shiny and new.

Then it hit me it isn't school that scares me, I'm dreading the other woman.  You know the one, she is the most beautiful, smartest, always right woman about to take centre stage right where you've been standing.  Yes I'm talking about their Kindergarten teacher.  No longer are you the undisputed expert on everything because Miss *insert name here* says so.

I know it's nice to share but just for tonight I'm going to be a little selfish, just for tonight they are still all mine.

Tomorrow I'll blink back the tears, I'll smile and tell them how wonderful this new adventure is going to be and I'll wait all day with my heart in my throat until the bell rings and they come running through that classroom door excitement bubbling through every pore, I'll pull on my big girl knickers and embrace our next set of firsts.

Having Faith or Surrendering Control?

The summer days are skipping away quicker than ice cream melts on a hot afternoon.  As summer retreats the first day of school draws near.  Lazy morning give way to the before school dance where children dawdle as mothers grow both exasperated and late.

I've spent most of summer in denial, the logical part of me knows my babies are going to school but the Mummy in me is nowhere near ready to let go.  I don't know if it is that I know that this is the last time I will wave a little one off looking as if they'll never grow into their shorts and as helpless as a kitten or whether my fears for the Little Man are just running riot.

Yesterday we went to a birthday party.  Miss COTU was in her element, little social butterfly that she is but Little Man interacted a little but was more than content to do his own thing.  Last night I didn't sleep very well.  All I could play through my mind was the What If game.  What if he can't make friends, what if he doesn't cope, what if he falls behind.

Today though I didn't achieve much at work but my mind was churning and then I thought What if.  What if he makes friends on his terms, what if he learns to cope, what if he travels at his own pace.

Little Man has differences but he has so much more to offer.  Maybe there will be challenges but maybe just maybe I need to let go, okay, just a little.

I can't live his life for him, but I believe in him, and I know he can.